“Here.” DJ plopped his wailing seven month old son Chris into Raymundo's lap. “I'll be back.”
Raymundo nodded, holding the child. “Hey.” Raymundo said. Chris stretched his arms in the direction his father disappeared. “Don't cry,” He cooed, “your Daddy's going to be right back.” Raymundo scrunched his face up, the smell more pungent with the boy on his lap.
DJ returned, laying the changing pad on the rug with a flourish. “Come here stinky!” DJ scooped Chris up and lay him down, making silly faces while he quickly changed the dirty diaper. DJ placed Chris next to a jumbo toy firetruck with all sorts of lights and sounds activated by various buttons the kid loved pressing.
Chris was banging on his fire truck with open palms, gurgling when he found the button that flashed the headlights. “On.” DJ said. Chris banged again. “Off.” They did this a few times Ray watching.
“I wish everything was as simple as that toy you have there.” Ray sighed. The baby sneezed. “Uh,” Chris blinked, face scrunching up as milky white baby snot started leaking out his nose. DJ used the cuff of his sweater to wipe away the boogers. “Gross.” Raymundo mumbled.
“This is nothing compared to the amount of bodily fluids that have splashed my scrubs.”
“Double gross.” Raymundo shook his head.
“Dude, you just showed me the drawing of what you would look like without the whole,” DJ waved a hand, “Ditto properties you're doing. Now that's-”
“What?” DJ laughed. “You think Chris, who who hasn't even mastered the art of 'dada', will tell someone about your newfound alieness?” Raymundo frowned at him. “Chris is only capable of leaking bodily fluids. And I can't keep making excuses to talk with you at the barn, my wife is going to start thinking I'm cheating on her.” DJ scooped Chris up to gently toss him in the air. “It's only us bros, can't we talk some more?”
“I told you what I know.” Raymundo grumbled. “I can't figure out rest until I fix the speakers.”
“But they worked before.”
“And then they stopped.” Raymundo took a long drink of his water before crossing his arms. “Right in the middle of a recording.”
“Dude.” DJ set Chris down and pointed to the firetruck. “What if you just accidentally put it on mute?”
“Oh yeah that's …” Raymundo groaned. “I told it to shut up when the fact I'm a descendant of a shape shifting alien was revealed.” DJ laughed so hard baby Chris started laughing too.
“You might have realized this if you ever tried using the voice activation on your phone.”
“Man, for owning a spaceship, you are the most Luddite I know.”
“I'm not a Luddite.”
“Close enough.” DJ pushed the fire truck past Chis and beamed when his son started quickly crawling after it.
Word Count: 493