Ugly Words Challenge- Day 160

It was huge. The turkeys sitting in the freezer section were almost the size of a beach ball and at least twice as heavy.

"Why not just get a whole turkey?" They leaned over freezer. "Your family coukd feast on it for days."

John sighed as he compared the salt in two different deli brands. “A full turkey is too big. It takes forever to cook. And we’d never finish it in time.”

“I could finish it. And-”

“You’re supposed to stay under the radar. A teen could not eat a whole turkey.”

“Not the whole turkey.” Skylar pushed John’s hands down so the packages weren’t in front of his face. “Just what you and your family didn’t.”

“That would still be a ton of turkey.”

“Those weigh 2,000 pounds?”

“Sure feels like it.”

“Anyway.” Skylar took one of the packages from John and looked through the clear plastic. “Didn’t you say thin flat things cook faster? Why cook the turkey in a giant ball?”

“Because.” John shrugged. He looked at the shelf of cold cuts again. “Anyway,”


“Then flatten it out.” Skylar turned towards the freezers again, holding up their thumb and finger. They pinched the air, imagining squishing the giant bird into a meat pancake.

“People do that.” He took the package from Skylar and put that one back on the cooled shelf. “It’s called spatchcock. Break the spine, squish the ribs, flattens it and can cook it in half the time.”

“I bet it would cook even faster if you removed the bones!” Skylar clapped.

“Uh…” John dropped a couple of the less salty sliced turkey breast into his cart. “Removing all the bones would be messy, and still take a lot of time.”

Skylar crossed their arms. “I’m surprised no one here as invented a machine to dissolve bones.” They grumbled. “You eat things with bones, but not the bones themselves, so why not just, turn them into edible mush.”

“At one point, people may not have thought twice about it. But now… I think most people would find it too gross to eat… er… mushy bones.”

“Humans are weird.” They muttered.

“Tell me about it.” John sighed. “If, for some unforeseen reason, you are still stuck here in November, you’ll get a chance to eat turkey, from the whole bird, not just slices.”

“I don’t have time to stay months.” Skylar whined, for the first time. John just, blinked at them, half sure the high pitched noise was completely generated from the translator device inside them.

“Then if all goes well, you’ll just have to come back and visit.” Skylar grinned at that and grabbed the front of the cart, pulling it and John towards them.

“Promise I can come back?”

“I won’t stop you.” Skylar grinned. “But the government might.” They rolled their eyes and asked what was next on the grocery list.


Word count: 479


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